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How to Plan a Memorial Service
What is a Memorial Service?
A memorial service is an event that is held to celebrate the departed’s life, bring closure to those in mourning, and bring together family and friends to reminisce and honor a loved one.
A memorial service doesn’t have to occur immediately after death; it can be held weeks or months afterwards and can vary in size, location, and feel. There’s a lot of considerations to think about when planning a memorial service. Here are the steps and questions to ask yourself.
Determine the size and location of the event
A commemorative event like a memorial service can be kept intimate or open to the greater crowd of people acquainted with the deceased. If your loved one was introverted and private, it may be better to choose to keep a memorial service limited to close friends and family members, but if your loved one was outgoing and enjoyed a larger crowd, the commemorative event can be open to anyone who knew the deceased.
Hosting a large number of people at home may be overwhelming, so here are some popular places to consider when planning a memorial service:
- Lake or beachside
- Favorite restaurant
- Golf course
- Local park
- Hotel banquet
- Farm
- Social center
- Church
Choosing a location to reflect the personality and likes of the deceased can help the event feel special and give comfort to those in mourning. Plus, if you’re planning a scattering ashes ceremony, you can tie that into your location choice for a commemorative event.
Decide on a date
Memorial services don’t need to be planned immediately after someone passes. They can be held shortly after, or months down the line. You can choose a date that was special to the deceased, or even a time of year that they loved. Some people even choose to hold recurring anniversary memorial services.
Plan the program
A memorial service can be as simple or interactive as you’d like. Consider the personality of your loved one and the feelings of those in attendance. You can offer attendees a chance to speak at the memorial service by giving a eulogy, reading a poem or hymn, tell a story, or even to sing.
A memorial service program can be printed off and handed out to guests as they arrive to let them know what they can expect from the upcoming service. It should outline opportunities for speakers to contribute their memories or stories, and if and when there will be food offered.
You can also incorporate a scattering ashes ceremony, or something more involved, like floating lanterns or a butterfly release. Try to reflect your loved one’s personality but also give people a chance to express their grief or memories and find closure at your event.
Plan décor
Plan how you want to symbolize your loved one in the décor you choose. Were they passionate sports fans or musicians? Did they enjoy nature or have adventurous hobbies? Printing off photos or having a digital slide show of their achievements and favorite moments is a great way to highlight the accomplishments and passions of the deceased. You can also choose to have flowers, although they’re not necessary if they don’t represent your loved one’s interests. Consider displaying their sports memorabilia or highlight a charity they were supportive of so people can make donations.
Invite Guests
Once you’ve finished planning your memorial service, send out invitations to guests. You may want to consider creating some personalized memorial gifts to have at the service or to give to close friends and family. You can easily create customized photo memorial cards or memorial ornaments to honor the deceased and to thank guests for attending the memorial service.
How Long is a Memorial Service?
A memorial service can be a couple hours or last half a day depending on the program. If you plan on having a large event with many guests, your event will probably be longer. Make sure to include when the service begins and ends if you’re hosting it at a restaurant or hotel where you’re only allowed a certain amount of time, or if you’re having the event at your home and want to have a time constraint.
Do You Serve Food at a Memorial Service?
Yes, you typically serve food at a memorial service, but it’s up to your discretion how much or what to offer. Finger foods are best, or ready-made and easy to prepare meals. Here’s some suggestions of simple options that you can order or prepare yourself:
- Vegetable tray
- Variety of sandwiches
- Cheese platter
- Deviled eggs
- Pasta
- Wings
- Casseroles
- Barbecue
Learning how to plan a memorial service during a time of grief can be daunting after losing a loved one. Keep in mind that you have plenty of time to organize the event and that you can wait to have a commemorative service at any point after a loss.
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