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Death Anniversaries are Hard
You can’t avoid them or ignore them. The first year after a loss is often the hardest and reliving the pain or not knowing how to approach the occasion can create a very emotionally difficult time. Everyone deals with grief differently, and marking the anniversary of a death can help with the grieving process. There’s no right or wrong way to acknowledge death, so whether you choose to ignore it or host a celebration of life, it’s okay to take the right approach for yourself and where you are in the grieving process.
Here is a list of ways to remember a lost loved one. We hope that approaching the occasion in a celebratory way can (temporarily) relieve some of the pain of their loss and help the bereaved experience brief happiness. Hearing how others viewed and appreciated a lost loved one can be comforting as one processes their grief.
Unique Tributes for the Anniversary of a Death
Travel to a location they loved
If there was somewhere special your loved one mentioned or talked about often, traveling to that place can invoke the memory of their adventurous spirit. You can incorporate this place into a celebration of life or memorial service. If regulations allow, it can even be somewhere you spread ashes and return to each year.
Host a Meal
If you’re close with your loved one’s family and friends, host everyone for a special meal honoring the deceased. Invite others to re-create a dish that reminds them of the lost loved one, and create a custom cookbook in their name. Use the time to share stories that bring smiles and laughter and highlight all of the good moments associated with them.
Choose to give back
If you’d rather not partake in a gathering, doing something good in the name of the deceased can help celebrate their memory. If they were part of a charity or donated their time to a cause, consider raising funds, volunteering, or helping collect donations. The sentiment and experience of creating a better place can help the grieving process.
Experience nature
Whether you gather loved ones or choose to experience the outdoors alone, fresh air is good for the soul. Host a picnic, go paddleboarding, enjoy an early morning sunrise, or go hiking. No matter how adventurous or quiet the moment is, allow nature to soothe your spirit and help you regain a sense of balance in the world.
Create a memorial
The end of a loved one’s life is often a whirlwind of planning and many experience the moment in a haze. A death anniversary can be the perfect time to reflect and reminisce on good times, especially if you can create a special location. There are plenty of local public spaces that allow people to dedicate trees, benches, playground equipment, or gardens to improve a location. Look into raising funds or gathering other loved ones once a dedication has been chosen.
Start a journal
The raw pain of death can make journaling sound awful. But once some time has passed, a death anniversary may be the best time to pick up a pen and begin writing down thoughts. Write a letter to the deceased, updating them on life. Share fears, happiness, and noteworthy moments. Even the exercise of writing down a simple sentence can still be a step towards processing grief and acknowledging that another death anniversary has passed.
Release balloons or lanterns
Lantern and balloon releases, whether let loose to drift into the sky or pushed out to float on a body of water, can be a beautiful way to honor a lost loved one. This act can be combined into a larger memorial service or can be a yearly occasion to mark a death anniversary. You can even write letters or notes to include as a message to a lost loved one. Choose biodegradable options to help mitigate the effects they have on the environment.
Organize a fund or scholarship
When the bereaved lose someone to illness or to an accident, it can be meaningful to raise awareness or raise funds for a cause. You can start a donation fund to raise money for a local charity, research, or for campaigns that raise awareness for certain causes.
Complete a bucket list
If your lost loved one had a list of trips, accomplishments, or dreams, this can be a perfect way to honor their memory. Completing an item on their list each year can celebrate their life, and help the grieving process by gaining closure. Although these moments may be bittersweet, they can be incredibly meaningful.
If these ideas sound daunting, that’s okay. Take time for yourself, keep the moment subdued, and reflect on your thoughts and feelings. A meaningful death anniversary doesn’t need to be intricate – it can be as simple as rewatching a movie you enjoyed together. Consider your stage in the grieving process and only mark a death anniversary in a way that is comfortable for you. Pay tribute to the occasion with a piece of cremation jewelry, or a personalized gift to yourself that reflects the lost loved one and what they symbolized.
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